I don’t really know how to explain it like I think boys are attractive but I don’t like want to have sex with boys or with girls but they’re both attractive but I’m not really interested in doing anything more than looking at them and maybe using them to be warm i don’t know I don’t call myself “asexual” because that sounds so die alone and I try to push myself towards just being “gay” but sexuality doesn’t really work like that unfortunately
Thinking about it really hard there have been two instances in my life where I can say I was “Infatuated” like literally “In Love” with a person, not a crush or anything but honestly “In Love” with some aspect of them, the first was in 9th grade and with my friend Rachel Corona, she taught me real genuine friendship and I never really realized just how much I loved her, like I know 150% if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be the person I am today and I just owe her so much honestly (I just sent her a 4 paragraph fb message about how much she’s meant to me as a friend!!)
The second person is actually someone a I met on tumblr and I don’t know what it is about him that I’m so in love with maybe its personality, maybe its the intellect I just really don’t know what it is I mean he doesn’t blog at all anymore sigh I don’t know we still talk but there’s just something about him I don’t know I feel so….me? Like I’m so comfortable with him like on a weird level not normal friendship? I just really want to be “with” him idk..